Erotic Denial

I just wanted to share with you some of the calls that I reflect back on with a smile. Each call has its own unique qualities but some just make me laugh. I cant be overly specific but you’ll get the point.

I was lucky enough to view several cams yesterday and there are 2 sessions that really stand out to me. One was my melon molester. He voilated himself with a zucchini and then had hard core sex with a cantaloupe.  He told me in between moans and groans how amazing it felt because it “sucked him really hard“. LOL.

Then of course there was the numbnuts that handcuffed himself to his bed. In reach was the controller to the Tens Unit. I watched him torture himself at my direction and I am sure he is still feeling it even now. I am curious to know how he will free himself from those cuffs though.

I also had a caller yesterday that asked me to blog about the call. We’ll call this sissy“Sissy X” Now When I spoke with this caller, she stated that she was a raging sissy, Hair make up, clothes, long nails, the works! The voice of this sissy was THE most sissy-ish Ive ever heard. lol. About 20 minutes into the call, apparently the sissy developed multiple personality disorder and stated to me that She wanted to be a Pro Dom.  I almost dropped my phone laughing because to me, that almost like a blind person aspiring to be a “seeing eye dog” LOL. There wasn’t a Dom bone in this sissy’s body!!

Sissy XX - a totally different caller told me that she was a sissy first and a man second. I use the term Man loosely. The ironic part of this sissy’s call was that she was a cross dresser! Now - with the sissy personality being the main one, if she were to cross dress - does that mean she is dressing as a man? Flannel shirt, boxer briefs, jeans and work boots? lol. Ponder that one for a moment for me.

Last but not least was sissy XXX. This one was very interesting to me. She wanted to be a phone sex operator as a woman, doing some VERY hot phone sexcalls. Often times she calls into a party chat line and talks in her sissy voice to attract unsuspecting men. She had me listen in on one of her calls were she actually had a very steamy call with someone who wasnt aware that they were actually talking with a sissy. She pulled this off very well - I was impressed.

Just goes to show that you never know what type of call will come in, and I LOVE it that way. Keeps us Mistresses on our toes and very sharp. So, to all of my callers, Keep up the good work!! We love each and every one of you.

As always,

I am so excited knowing that my very special day is growing closer by the minute. Durring the past few months I have done a lot of shopping around to find that “perfect dress” and I have done so.  I am not one for that Cinderella type wedding but I do want it to be very nice of course, something for me to remember. While I was browsing through the bridal shops and websites I must admit some of the dresses (mostly of the brides maids type) scared me beyond words. lol. However- I do honestly have to say that most of the sissies I talk with would have wet their pretty girl panties for a chance to prance around in some of them. Pink ruffles, layered one on top of another with no end in sight. Hugely puffy sleeves with so much lace that Victoria Secrets would be jealous. And did I mention the bows? I feel that there should be a limit to how many bows one dress should have. This was only ONE of the dresses that scared me. I wont even mention the bright yellow one I saw, except to say, that I would be terrified to wear this thing on Sesame Street in fear that big bird might be horny!

My dress will in fact be white, (because we all know that I am as pure as the driven snow!) Stop laughing, I can hear you. Especially you Ms Ryan!! lol.  And the special women I have asked to stand by me will be in a light lilac color with soft silver accents.  My rings are beautiful, and they match his ball and chain set very nicely. *evil grin*

So, thats my update and hopefully it will clear up so many questions I have been asked lately. I will not be having the super frilly sissy wedding that some assumed. I adore my sissy sluts, I really do, but I will let them have their fun wearing the scary dresses.

I look forward to speaking with you all……… keep those calls cumming!!

I have had a few callers ask me if I had any good fag jokes. Here are a few that I’ve run across and a few that other callers have sent to me. Enjoy!

What’s the difference between a refridgerator and a fag?
The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out!

What did one gay sperm say to the other?
How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit? 

Four fags are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some sperm rising to the surface. One fag says, “Ok, who farted?” 

Why’d the fag get fired from the sperm bank?
They caught him drinking on the job!!!

What does one fag say to another fag going on vacation?
Can I help you pack your shit?

What’s the most common pickup line in a gay bar?
May I push your stool in?

What do you call a fag dentist?
The tooth fairy of course!

What do you call the foreskin on a faggot?
Mudflaps!

How can you tell if a bank robber is a faggot? 
He ties up the safe and blows the Security Guard!

What do fags call hemorrhoids? 
Speed bumps!

What do you call a fag in a sleeping bag?

A fruit roll up !!

What do you call a bouncer in a gay bar?

A flamethrower!

I must admit that several of these made me laugh. So, here you go cupcake, I have posted several jokes for you.

If any of you have jokes that you would like me to post up here on my blog, just email me and I’ll be sure to do it for you.

As always,

Licks and Pinches

You need to call Me because you desire Me and because you completely crave My attention and melt at the sound of my voice. You know you will only find true happiness/comfort under My specific direction and control.
I expect you to cater to My every whim, no matter what you have to sacrifice in order to achieve  My expectations.
Nothing will give you more  satisfaction than knowing that you are doing everything you possibly can to make My life more enjoyable.

You will become My pay slut and will sacrifice everything you thought you owned to Please Me. I will exploit your weaknesses for My gain. You are here to serve me and no one else.

If the following words ‘worship’,’thank you’ ‘obey’ ‘how much’ and ‘yes Goddess’ aren’t in your vocabulary, don’t bother reading the rest of this. I will not tolerate having my valuable time wasted by someone as pathetic  as you. I am a serious woman and I have no interest in entertaining your worthless thoughts, hopes or dreams.

I am a natural born self-centered, dominant woman. My one and only interest towards men is to take control and for them to prove their admiration and devotion.
I AM a Goddess and will except NOHTING less than the treatment a goddess deserves. I know I am beautiful and I intend to take full advantage of the power that My beauty gives Me over men.

I am often asked what my favorite sexual position is, and I can honestly tell you that it is standing behind one of my pay piggies while they are pushing buttons on the ATM machine removing his entire life savings. I can say this is the most fantastic way to ” Fuck a man” and they always come begging for more. *evil smile*

My question to you is, why are you still reading this? Why isn’t my phone  ringing? Why aren’t you on my wish list buying me all sorts of wonderful things? You know that is your place in life don’t you? That’s why you are here. Should I say it in words that your very simple minds can understand? OINK OINK OINK…………. enough said!

As always
Licks and Pinches
Ms Jessica

I have several types of sluts that call me. Some are quite unique. The one that made me laugh the hardest over the past few days was the whipped cream whore.  Now, normally this bitch will take that can of whipped cream and cover his body in it. Rubbing that white creamy goodness all over himself. He loves to spray it into his pink panties and visualize it being something else. Things get really interesting when I have him violate himself with the nozzle and squirt it up his ass. That tight little fuck hole dripping with that oozing white liquid gets him really horny! Now that you have an idea of what we usually do, you’ll understand why I laughed so hard when he told me he wanted to fuck himself with a banana!! He found one that was huge and had a “sexy curve” to it. LOL.  Like I said earlier, I have lots of types of whores. I have a cupcake whore, I have a coke whore, I have a panty whore, I have a humiliation whore, I even have a puppy dog pay piggy whore. I am pleased to announce that I now have a produce whore . LMAO.  This will really open up an entire new world to this bitch. How many different types of produce can one shove into one self? I know lots would fit nicely and even more with a bit of force. *evil grin* Maybe his next item will be a zucchini but Im holding out and wont be impressed until this slut can take a butternut squash! What are some of the more unusual things you’ve violated yourself with? I am super curious to know. Call me and fill me in on this!!

As always,

Licks and pinches,

Hello again,

I am back after enjoying a day off yesterday. I went to the spa and have a fantastic facial, and pedi/mani.  After I was done being pampered, I took some time to go shopping at the mall. Of course I found myself in Victoria Secrets looking at their sexy lingerie. I did spoil myself with a few new bra and panty sets. One is a lilac color and the other set is such a pale pink that it looks almost off white depending on the light in the room.

Then I met up with some of my girlfriends. One of the things I love doing is going bowling. How many of you did not know that? I share often about my love of storm chasing but bowling is another one of my all time favorites. Perhaps its something about handling those big heavy balls?  Griping them tight and then tossing them away from me? If you are a serious bowler, you know that you must take good care of your balls. You must wipe them with a towel after each release, as the oil has a way of building up on them. lol

How much would you love to feel me paying that same attention to your balls? Covering them with oil and wiping them clean after release? Something that really makes you think isn’t it? lol. I love to be in control of large balls, and I love to laugh at the small, tiny, pathetic ones. Which category are you in? Better yet, why don’t you let me decide which fits you best. Call me and we’ll talk about it.

As always,

Licks and Pinches